When my 7 mo. old gets fussy in the evenings, there’s no Dad to take over soothing her. When I wake up groggy in the mornings because she woke me up demanding to nurse every 2-3 hours at night, Dad isn’t there to take over and let me sleep in for a little while. There are no extra hands to haul the stroller or baby bag while I grab all 20 lbs. of her from the car seat when I make a grocery run.
It’s been stressful, and I have to admit I struggled with my temper a few times. They were short-lived, and thank God she won’t remember my shout of “What are you crying about!”. I’m very ashamed that I struggle so much with my temper, but also feel proud that I don’t let it overpower me. I am adamant that I never raise a hand against my daughter, and this is especially difficult for me, coming from a home that practiced corporal punishment even at an early age. In short, shouting, spanks, loss of temper was modeled for me and I don’t want that legacy passed down to my daughter.
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I am extremely happy to have my husband back home. Having him away makes me acutely aware just how lucky I am to have him in my life.
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