Mommy (and Daddy) Resources

Now that Mina is older (almost a toddler! Ack!), I don't have a compulsion to check every single milestones, events, acts, that happen for her against sources like the BabyCenter, Babiesonline Blog, and other parenting sites like Parents Connect. I think the first few weeks I had her I would literally check every parent site on a daily basis, as well as my trusty What to Expect the First Year book. And now the compulsion has died down. I've gained confidence in my parenting abilities.

If you're a new parent, know that there are resources out there, online, literally a few clicks away. Remember that parents have been there before you and have survived. You will too. I promise.

You're guilty about feeling angry, frustrated. You're worried about your baby's poopy diaper, about how much or how little they're eating or drinking. Whatever your worries are. Don't panic. Check out the resources available to you. Your questions probably all have simple answers.

Now that I'm a parent of soon-to-be-toddler, I have a new set of questions. When should she start preschool? Is really that important? How do I get her to practice her large and fine motor skills? I start noticing differences between her and kids her age. Should I work on the things she isn't good at, and other kids are? Am I being too authoritative in my discipline style, or am I doing it just right? She is a really well-behaved baby, my little Mina; have I stifled her too much?

Like Baby Center, Parents Connect have resources for babies and toddlers, but also for kids, preteens and teens. Because we all know that as parents, we'll need all the help we can get, right?

My Child Reflects Upon Me

Does every parent believe that?

When Mina screams and hollers impatiently outside I think it's a failure on my part to instill self-control in her. It doesn't help that my mom says all the time that I and my brothers never did that (i find it hard to believe, selective memory perhaps?). And I know its ridiculous for me to think that my 1 year old will have self-control. Quite impossible. Still the feelings sometimes comes unexpectedly and persists.

Another example of reflection. If Mina goes outside, I always make sure she's dressed well. I mean, always! If she's madungis (unkempt), I feel like people will look down on her, and on me as a parent. At least I don't buy her Baby Dior or something crazy like that. Still, she definitely has a better closet than I do. What does this say abut me? I want to teach Mina not to be ruled by what others think. Am I being a hypocrite?

Questions, questions.

The Worry Never Ends With a Child

I don't know why I ever worried about Mina being fat before. Babies are supposed to be fat! If a mom isn't worrying about her baby being skinny, she worries that her child is on its way to experience the cruelest teasing from her or his classmate about their overweightness by having the tiniest bit of extra fat.

I'm serious. I just watched a show on FitTv.com where this obese mom watered down her baby daughter's milk because she doesn't want her daughter to be overweight. I think the baby was less than a year old.

So I never watered down Mina's milk, but I worried she was on the path to weight problems. See, I hadn't watched my diet when I was pregnant with her as close as I would have liked. I gained 40 lbs. To me, that was a heck of a lot. And I ate fried foods. I couldn't help it, I was craving fried chicken strips from Chili's all the time! So Mina came out bigger than any baby in my family had come out. 8 lbs. 3 oz. Nice and healthy right? I couldn't be happy, I had to worry.

Now Mina's leaning towards being a skinny string bean at 1 year old. Boy, my breastmilk must have packed a punch. We can't seem to feed her anything that will put some fat back in her bones. She's 21 lbs. 6 oz at her 1 year check up. Based on projections, she should have tripled her baby weight. She's missing an extra 3 lbs.

And still I worry, though she's fine on the charts of normalcy. I think it's a parent's perogative. If she were to gain weight and keep gaining, I would probably swing to the other side of the pendulum again.

She has a runny nose now too. I'm sure if I tried hard enough, I could come up with a terrible thing to worry about that might be causing this runny nose.

By The Grace of God Let Me Raise You Well

Recently, I found out some rather disturbing news about a relative of mine. I don't want to go into details, but I will share how I felt upon hearing it. Heartbreak, bewilderment, confusion, and when I watch my daughter's innocent, sweet face and I wonder, will she break my heart the same way? If she makes a wrong turn in the crooked road to a life well-lived, will her wrong turn be all my fault? Am I making mistakes even now?

I know that parents can do everything right and still have an unhappy child. I know adults who came from messed up families and by the grace of God they turned out well. Is it all luck of the draw? The temperament that your child is born with will make them or break them? Do we as parents, have so little influence in how they turn out? I'd like to think that we, as parents, are everything in relation to how our children will turn out, but I'm not so naive to truly believe that we are the end all and be all.

What is the right formula? I don't know. I just hope that I can muddle through this whole parenting thing, with Mina and our future other children coming out in the end of it all, happy and for the most part, unscathed.

When those pivotal moments come in my parenting journey, let me always listen to that still, calm, inner voice to guide me.

Does Parenting Matter In a Child's IQ?

Well does it? Read here and find out.

What Kind of a Mom Will I Be?

Admit it moms, most of us at one point or another, have looked at our mothers and thought "I will never be like my mom." Only to realize that little by little, we have become, or are already exactly like our mothers.

Not to say that some of us didn't have great Moms that we want to emulate. But I think the majority of women out there know what I'm talking about. Whether we promised not to be as impatient (me), not to spank, not to be so strict, there's always something we hope to improve when it's our turn to mother our child(ren).

I'm not exactly like my mom. I think part of it is the temperament I was born with. But I do have her tendencies, especially the easily frustated, easily impatient part. I'm aware of it, and so I already have half the battle won. I just need to continually work on my temper when things aren't going according to plan. Let me repeat, it is continuous work. Since I have this tendency, it's not all of a sudden going to get fixed, and there will be moments when my temper will get the best of me. I just never want to resort to yelling or spanking my little one. I have regretted very little in my life, but that is sure to be something I will regret if it ever happens.

But what kind of a Mom do I wish to be? I have a very good sense of humor, so I hope to impart that to baby Mina. Her dad and I are goofy, so I most likely will be the jokey, laughing type. I would like to be the kind of mom with whom she can feel free to share most things with and not feel like she has to hide them. I would like to be a trusting mom, making sure of course that I raise a trustworthy, critical thinking, responsible, daughter. I want her to see me laugh often, hear me praise her often, and know I'm not one who's easily fooled.

I want to be a loving Mom, a Mom who she can trust to protect her. I may not be able to whip her up a gourmet meal like her daddy, but I will always do my best to give her rich and rewarding experiences.

We'll most likely have our battles. But whatever they are, we'll get through it with humor.

Picture of a Happy Mother and Daughter team?