Don't Call My Daughter Pretty

Yes, I am her mom and I know I am biased, but I do think she's a striking girl. Nevertheless, I try not to focus on her looks but on her personality instead. I want to instill in her that your integral self is more important than your looks. I want her growing up without thinking she must be a little princess, a damsel in distress, or that her value lies in her looks.



I am at a loss however, in how to deal with other people's compliments. I guess I'm not so biased because other people seem to agree that she is beautiful. I have all sorts of people coming up to me in public telling me how gorgeous she is. I think it's partly because people are so drawn to babies, but anywhere from Target, to dining out, to people on the streets, they stop and tell her how pretty she is.

I'm no scrooge, I don't go tell them off and spout off my beliefs. They're just being kind. I guess I have to take it for now, and explain to Mina as she grows older that her worth is firmly in what she does, and what she is, and now how she looks.

And for the record Moms out there, if you wish to do the same, the first thing you have to be prepared to do is to not let your daughter watch TV or monitor it very closely. We're not planning on getting cable but will have the TV for DVDs, which can be pre-approved before watching. There's so much fluff out there, and parents aren't as dilligent as they could be in what messages filters through their daughter. The second, no fashion magazines. They are truly a haven for unrealistic expectations to go roost.

I'm planning to treat my daughter as if she's a kick-butt, tough, heroine. She can still be feminine and strong can't she? Like Cinderella in Ever After, not Cinderella in the usual fairy tales.